7 Signs of Gaslighting At Work and How To Combat It?

Intro

It's typical to discuss gaslighting in terms of close friendships and partnerships. Many people, however, also encounter gaslighting at work. When a coworker or supervisor manipulates you and makes you doubt your own sanity, memory, or beliefs, that is when it is happening. In order to make you bear the blame for the occurrences, the gaslighter may reject previous events, minimize your feelings, or retell them.

Gaslighters have personality qualities that transcend boundaries and fit into many social contexts. Gaslighting in the workplace is equally harmful as it is in a friendship or partnership.

Having stated that, how can you tell if a coworker is gaslighting you? What should you do in such cases? We'll assist you in locating solutions so that you can reclaim control of your career from the gaslighter.

What is gaslighting?

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When someone makes you doubt your own memory by insisting on something you already know to be incorrect, this is known as gaslighting. In order to reduce the likelihood that the victim will notice the forced deception being applied to them, this strategy is purposefully used over time.

Gaslighting can make you feel helpless and nullify what you already know to be true, which is a kind of emotional manipulation and bullying. Gaslighters are skilled at manipulating the truth and using accurate information against their victims.

Gaslighting is most often perpetrated in the workplace by someone in a position of power or by someone who is well-liked, which makes the victims less likely to report this toxic coworker. And the longer it continues unchecked, the more likely it is that you will begin to doubt yourself about what is genuine and what is not.

Indications of gaslighting at work

1. Verify what you’re experiencing is actually gaslighting

Examine your experiences. Gaslighters deliberately try to subdue and dominate their victims by getting them to doubt their own reality and value. Even on paper, they dispute what they said. They constantly defend themselves by projecting their flaws onto other people. Their need to be in charge can result from a variety of illnesses, including ineptitude, nervousness, narcissism, envy, or plain old pettiness. If this is the case, then the chances of you experiencing gaslighting at work are high.

2. Negative feedback is constantly coming your way

If someone consistently tells you something unjustifiably bad about how you do at work, you probably have a psychological abuser on your hands. A lack of constructive criticism is a clear indicator of gaslighting at work.

Sometimes they may also make you feel like an imposter, which can seriously affect your performance.

However, negative feedback can be challenging to evaluate, especially if it comes from your boss or another person with authority. Determine whether their criticism is accurate.

Check in with a team member to see if the input you're receiving indicates gaslighting. Ask them if they concur after describing what your leader or boss said in full. You might be able to persuade your coworkers to support you in standing up to the gaslighter if they too think the persistent negativity is unjustified.

3. Look around for similar experiences faced by others

The abuse of a gaslighter at work occasionally targets a single employee. They frequently notice many people in their way and mislead them as well. Thus, make inquiries. How does your supervisor get along with the other team members? Ask coworkers if they would be willing to document gaslighting behavior if they claim to have been subjected to a similar level of treatment. In this manner, it won't just be you complaining. Keep in mind that power comes in numbers.

4. You are not invited for important decision makings

The gaslighter will exclude you from crucial conferences, discussions, and projects without ever providing a convincing justification. They'll try to convince you that you're exaggerating or that you were misinformed and didn't need to be involved in that conversation when you ask why you weren't involved. They will persuade you that something is not important, even when it is important to the work you are performing.

It may be a symptom that you are being gaslighted if you feel like you are always left out, especially for those working in a remote work setting.

5. You find it difficult to challenge them

You're acting so irrationally, "Don't you think you're reacting too strongly?" With these comments, the offender not only diminishes your feelings but also abdicates accountability for their actions. You start to believe that you are to blame.

In addition, they make you doubt your intelligence and feel insane for speaking up at all, which increases the likelihood that you will continue to ignore it.

6. You're constantly being moved to smaller, unimportant projects

You might discover that you're being handed busy work—those pointless tasks that keep you busy but have no actual impact. This could be an attempt to undermine your influence and hinder your performance so that, when evaluations roll around, you have nothing to show because you never received any worthwhile work and you won't have any accomplishments to talk about.

7. You hear false rumors

By talking behind your back, gaslighters may attempt to undermine your view of reality. By turning your colleagues against you, the gaslighter may keep control of the situation and make you feel bad.

If you're hearing untrue rumors, try to figure out where the rumors came from. You could potentially find the hidden gaslighter. You have the right to defend yourself and debunk any rumors, regardless of the situation.

How to combat gaslighting at work?

1. Get help and put yourself first

Give yourself some time to think about self-care as you address your gaslighting issue. Recognize that you are not to blame for the circumstances and that you did nothing wrong. Speak with a neutral third party, not someone from your organization. It can assist you in keeping the harmful behavior in perspective without internalizing it.

To shift your mindset to a more optimistic one, concentrate on reducing negative self-talk. Assure yourself again that you are not crazy and that the abuse you are going through is not anything you deserve.

2. Request input from a different person

Finding someone you can trust who is not on the side of the gaslighter is crucial in this situation. This could be challenging, especially if your workplace is toxic as a whole.

Is the gaslighter pointing up "flaws" in your work all the time? Request a second set of eyes to look over these alleged errors.

Does the gaslighter still claim you've never received criticism behind your back, in front of the team? Ask someone who was present when this criticism was made.

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3. Keep track of your conversations

When speaking with your supervisor, make sure to take notes and keep a conversation log. Use as many mediums of communication as possible to record and document whatever has been said or changed. When possible, have witnesses present during meetings or add a teammate's email address as a copy in the emails. If you can, be as explicit as you can when you speak. It will be more difficult for your supervisor to doubt your integrity and break agreements if you have a real-time record of your encounters. By doing this, you can also determine whether you are indeed being gaslit.

4. Become knowledgeable about gaslighting

It's challenging to avoid taking the jabs personally. Nevertheless, recognize that the issue lies with gaslighters. They're attempting to control you, usually in an effort to take back control of their own lives or improve their low self-esteem.

There is undoubtedly no justification for unhealthy behavior. You'll be able to take their behavior less personally and reclaim some control in the relationship if you see their acts through that lens, though.

5. Speak up against the false actions

Gaslighting is effective because it perplexes you and undermines your confidence. The individual trying to gaslight you might conclude it isn't worth it if you demonstrate that the behavior doesn't upset you.

Gaslighting frequently includes insults and lies in addition to deception and lying. You can let them know you won't tolerate the conduct by calling it out in a polite and clear manner. Don't be hesitant to speak up because doing so will encourage people to respect you more.

They could attempt to cover up insults with jokes or use the phrase "I'm only trying to assist." They might discover that these tactics won't work on you if you ask them to clarify the joke as if you don't understand it.

Because of all this, employees usually feel like they are not being appreciated, which can halt their productivity. So make sure to combat this behavior and encourage an overall culture of employee appreciation.

Final thoughts

Gaslighting at work could be challenging to handle. Your physical and mental well-being may suffer dramatically, and in certain cases, it may be challenging to tell whether the behavior is controlling and manipulative. We do, however, hope that you will be able to recover influence and face the gaslighter in your life now that you are aware of the signs.

It would be a good idea to seek additional steps to improve your workplace and personnel's wellbeing after dealing with the gaslighter.